In The Sorcerer's Soul Ron suggests playing a game of Sorcerer, and then playing a second game, this time among the prior generation of characters, and which results in the situation that was dealt with by the characters in the first game. When I read that suggestion I asked him how it played. And he said he didn't know. That he'd never done it.

Recently, for only the second time ever, I had the experience of playing My Life with Master, as a minion, rather than running it. My wife Danielle ran the game. So in that game there's this scene where I'm wanting the Sincerity die and I'm roleplaying for it. And Danielle says, "If you want the Sincerity die you're going to have to do better than that." So I close my eyes and think for a bit, and then I come back with more passion, and more intensity. And she gives me the die.

What I've realized is that I designed My Life with Master to do that.

Honestly, I don't think I'm a very good player. I tend to create emotionally repressed characters who aren't particularly interesting for other players to watch. Yes, if the GM does everything right with his or her delivery of antagonism to my character, for maybe three sessions, everything, then my character explodes into dramatic protagonism. And it has happened. Once. Usually the GM doesn't do everything right, and my character fizzles, or rather, remains...unaccessed.

I designed My Life with Master to stretch me as a player, to train me where my skills are weak. And as a GM too. The whole group gives me, as GM, a challenge of delivering meaningful antagonism through the concept of Master they create, stretching the range of my creativity.

Bacchanal teaches me to create narrative that holds the interest of the other players using uncommon content. And in current local Acts of Evil playtesting I've realized the game is a crash course for the GM (with a player feedback loop) in creating interesting NPCs.

What I've realized is that I design games, at least in part, from an awareness of my own creative weaknesses and a desire to move through them. And I think then my games are compelling to folks who share my creative desires. Acts of Evil still has me in its clutches (in a way that Nicotine Girls doesn't), because it still has something to teach me.

I think that's what My Life with Master tries to show other designers that I'd be excited to see from them as a consumer: games you designed to challenge the limits you perceive to your own creative and collaborative skills when you play them.

I used to say I created My Life with Master to show other designers the kind of games I'd be excited to see from them as a consumer. Of late I've realized that's only part of the reason, and that myself I didn't even understand what exactly I was trying to "show". And as a result I've started to understand why I've kept designing games.

If you file the serial numbers off of My Life with Master, and then keep filing until all that's left is the underlying framework, you find a social structure for collaboratively creating a story that relies on: shared creation of antagonism, to be managed in play by the GM; conflict resolution, based on a few thematically meaningful character stats that fluctuate with each and every conflict outcome and manage progress toward story closure; and an institutionalized preservation of the protagonism of player character.

Now take a look around. Take some recent games and file them down to the framework, and you find shared creation of antagonism, conflict resolution built from a small knot of thematically relevant character stats that fluctuate with every conflict, etc. You find what's effectively the same architecture of collaboration, transported to new themes.

So, mission accomplished, right? Time to retire.

But damn if I haven't been dug in on Acts of Evil for all I'm worth since early 2005. I spent the better part of a year working on a game called Soul of Man prior to Acts of Evil, and then put it on the shelf after alpha playtesting. But Acts of Evil has had me in its clutches for three fucking years!

Why?

(Enjoy psychoanalyzing me in the comments if you're so inclined. I'll hold off on what I've realized until tomorrow.)

When Patrick Dugan's review of My Life with Master appeared last month on Boing Boing and then StumbleUpon, I started inquiring of international buyers requesting shipping/handling quotes whether they were "active (or lapsed) RPGers," or just curious from hearing about the game online. Their replies, reproduced with permission:

"I am lapsed, but I recently started running Call of Cthulhu with my wife and friends. They love it for the atmosphere, but the pay off is always disappointing, involving as it does tentacles and monsters and whatnot. Your game sounds like it might be more rewarding, and it really excites me how people are responding to it in such a primal, hushed way. It almost makes me nervous about playing it, and therefore sounds very much up my street."

***"Yup - I heard about the game on Boing Boing.
I am an active RPGer and thought the game sounded really fascinating.
We mostly play games with quick and dirty rules, SLA Industries, Savage Worlds etc. but the exact game depends on whose turn it is to GM. We are playing Children of the Sun at the min. We like concentrating on story and characters rather than combat/rules. Though a dustup is always fun.
I don't have the time or imagination to run long campaigns so when my turn comes I like to run fast paced short campaigns (3-4 weeks usually). Life with Master sounds like it could fit that really nicely as well as just sounding an interesting read."

***"Found you through Boingboing.

I am a long time roleplay, mostly table top, but also LARP-er.

As many others I half way designed my own game ( modern Japan with occult and Sci-fi ) but it all became way to complex and our interest up here in the cold of Norway turned towards more free form and indie games.
Mostly I story tell customized settings for 3-5 game nights. Each player gets to pick 3 keywords/ideas/things he wants to have in this setting, I whip out a world bassed on those the group comes up with. And we use a system that fitts the world :)

Also do a lot of roleplay in World of Warcraft, despite those heavy limitations the game impose on rp.

But well work and all, can`t play as much as when I was 15 :)"

***"Not at all actually; but me and some friends are planning on having a post-A level board- and tabletop-games binge, and your stuff was too cool too pass up."

***"Re: your question, i play boardgames quite regularly as a social thing but i've never played an RPG in my life.

the small article about your book just piqued my interest really, in terms of how the mechanics of it worked and how you could, through a game, use a group of people to tell an involving story. i guess that's kind of the basic premise of an rpg anyway?

i've no idea whether i'll actually play it as a game tbh, (i don't know who i'd play it with in truth!) i'm just interested in reading through it and understanding how it works :)"

***"Well I play from time to time now (and each year less than the previous one - but it's only natural i guess) and I'm somewhat into Polish RPG fandom. Aside from playing, I've made about 10 different RPG mechanics already for my own use (though right now I consider first 8 hopeless) and I'm in second bound-to-fail cRPG developement project right now (half of the crew random ppl, slow progress, when 1 guy's motivated he's blocked by lack of cooperation from other one - and after some time roles reverse but project's still going nowhere). Even though I consider latest iterations of these RPG mechanics pretty good - they're going nowhere. Unfortunately I like long campaings and big games - neither "2282" setting with last "sf" mechanics, nor "unnamed fantasy" with it's own could be scaled down to reasonable size. Not indy-friendly....
Anyway MlwM with "turned around" mechanics, narration "ruled by" simple mechanics, purposedly limited scope and simple (so consequently easy to fallow and powerful) setting - obviously cought my attention. It's more than "regular" new-wave stuff. Will be definately used on mea... newb players and on conventions where long campaing, tangled relations and deep personalities are simply out of question."

***"I actually do not play RPGs all that often, but I really love to read rules. My tastes currently tend to run more towards boardgames, and other games that can be finished in a single session. I would put the odds of playing your game at somewhat below 50%, but I think I already know I'll enjoy the rules. And it seems a complete game of MLwM can be done in a 1 or 2 evenings, so who knows, maybe I'll gather up some friends and make it happen!"

***"I've actually never played a pen and paper or tabletop rpg. I have plenty of geeky interests, but as a kid I went down the path of miniatures wargamer rather than pen and paper rpg's. (more or less anyway, we played with cardboard squares cut out from cereal boxes that had unit descriptions written on them)

More to the point, I'm a graphic and interaction and designer and in our studio we have this running joke that the guy who maintains our hardware is like an evil genius with the way he's hunched over the empty shells of computers on his workbench, plugging in hardware and running cables everywhere. Which in turn occasionally makes us act like Igor-like henchmen. (we're big hammer horror and cheesy B-movie fans here) So the boing boing description of the game really caught our eye and we'd love to give it a go.

The game also got a lot of praise for it's mechanics in several reviews which I suppose makes me profesionally interested as well. =)"

***"I'm a lapsed RPGer. I've recently got quite into Lovecraft, which reminds me of Call of Cthulhu. That and the chain of memories from Gary Gygax's death put me in a receptive mood and the tantalising suggestions from the review and your website piqued my curiosity. I'm unsure of who I can pursuade to join me in a game. I don't think my wife has ever played one. But this sounds like an ideal introduction for her.

Plus I'm addicted to buying stuff in the US since the dollar value made everything so cheap. Ireland is quite an expensive place."

***"I heard about My Life With Master through the Game Writer's mailing list I'm on - we were discussing the differences between the tailored gameplay offered by tabletop experiences and why many computer games can't give the player the same feeling of accomplishment/involvement in the world. One of the members was kind enough to post a link to a review of your ruleset, and it sounded fascinating, especially with regards to player psychology and a dynamic experience.

As for table-top-ing, I've been playing D&D, D20 modern and White Wolf stuff for about 5 years now. I've gotta say, Planescape is my favourite so far! :) But I also currently teach at Qantm College (a college that specialises in training people to work on video games) and we're always looking for new tabletop games to try. What I read of My Life With Master would appeal to a lot of my students, I think!"

Matt Snyder and I are organizing an Ashcan Front booth for Gen Con again this year. The main changes are:

1. Gen Con raised its booth prices by quite a bit, and so we had to raise the buy-in cost by a little as well.
2. And we're partnering with The Playcollective on a two-booth endcap. It'll be a clearly divided space, with separate shelving and everything. But the Playcollective shares our enthusiasm for ashcans, and so we'll have some of theirs on our shelves and Matt and I will have My Life with Master and Nine Worlds in with their other games. (We're excited about this partnership, because it means Matt and I can represent for our core titles without diluting a stand-alone Ashcan Front presence with them, and because it means Ashcan Front participants will be right in with the community of designers, working together, making connections, feeding each other's enthusiasm, and talking about design.)

A 2008 FAQ has been posted at http://www.ashcanfront.net/2008faq.html. Give it a look.